Finland: The land of ice and snow (and smelly dogs)

The Arctic Circle was certainly a winter wonderland and has to be one of the best places Kate and I have visited since moving to Europe. And the trip made a wonderful birthday present, Kate said.

First off, however, we didn’t see any northern lights. Although this was ostensibly the purpose of our icy, mid-February jaunt to the Arctic Circle – scheduled during a new moon to minimize extraneous light that would distract from Nature’s polar masterpiece – we had a fine time anyway taking in the northern sights.

It was overcast the whole time we were there, which kept the temperatures cold enough to snow every day (and warrant the long underwear we each wore), but temperate enough to make walking around the wintry wonderland painless.

We started with a flight to Tampere in southern Finland, where we whiled away the dark afternoon and early evening hours taking note of the friendly American fascination the Fins have.

Seriously, the first few signs we thought were coincidental (and flattering), but now it was just getting silly.

And racist.
Finally, it was time for our overnight train on the Polar Express to Rovaniemi, the capital of Lapland and birthplace of winter itself.

The train’s form-follows-function features like a sink tucked behind a bubbly wall in our sleeping cabin and a sleek motherboard control for temperature, music, lights, and an alarm clock were Ikea-like and very Scandinavian – and impressed the bejesus out of Kate and I, who would probably have been satisfied with a dusty pillow and a broom closet.

We awoke to darkness the next morning (at this Arctic latitude, we only averaged about seven hours of light per day), but when the train stopped we practically ran out, overjoyed to get outside and hike the five kilometers to our lodge. The air was fresh and frosty and the walk through the town, over the frozen river, and into the quiet woods where our lodge lied reminded me of snow days as a kid when my dog and I would play on the ice and galumph through the snowy woods. It was a winter paradise.

Our lodge was actually a duplex cabin and had all the amenities Nanook could ever want – a stove, fridge, coffee pot, and most Finnish of all, a sauna. I was super excited about the sauna, not because I’d ever really enjoyed one before, but because it would typify a true Finnish experience.

But there was no time for that this morning, as Kate and I were about to go dog sledding.

God, this was fun. It wasn’t the speedy doggy express I’d pictured. (Perhaps I watched Balto too many times.) It was more like the local trains, which was fine with us because it gave us more time to enjoy the scenery (Side note: Do you think Tiger Woods calls the wilderness in the arctic the “taiga woods”? Another side note: If this doesn’t mean anything to you, google “taiga”).

Anyway, as you’d expect, it started with an excited husky howl, which I embarrassingly took part in.


And here’s what the actual adventure looked like. Dog butts. Lots of dog butts. And me, again embarrassingly, baying to the call of the wild.

Eat your heart out Cuba Gooding Jr.!

The two-hour trek through husky utopia wasn’t just woods, though. We cut across a frozen lake and got into an accident with the sledge in front of here. Here’s a video of that happening, in which you can tell I’m not paying attention to anything but these gorgeous creatures when Kate says “You gotta go, honey.” So I turn around, yell Mush! and only then realized that the sledge in front of us hasn’t moved an iota. (Kate apparently saw the first sledge go and assumed the second sledge would go too).

Our calamitous adventure also involved our dogs running quickly over a large divot, which caused Kate, who was driving then….I’m just saying….to lose control, allow our sledge to pinball against the wooded sides of our path, and fall off. With no driver, the sledge (and me in it) tipped over. I obviously fell out and wound up behind Kate, who was running at full speed to catch up with six energetic dogs…who, by the way, were speeding along at three times their normal speed because they’d just lost 300 pounds of dead weight.

Anyway, we caught up, righted the sledge, and laughed about it for a good 10 minutes.

Back at the dog farm, we thanked our dogs for a good run and had some time left over to play with some adorably bitey puppies.


Then it was sauna time, when I think I broke a heat endurance record, staying in the sauna until it hit 88 degrees CELSIUS. That’s 190.4 degrees Fahrenheit, people. It took 45 minutes to get that high, which I’m pretty sure is about 30 minutes too long in any sauna, let alone one that can almost boil water. But I made myself proud (and no doubt dumber if excessive heat kills braincells).

The next day we slept in (I had a heat hangover I guess) and slowly made our way to the North Pole…sort of.
Santa’s Village, an over-commercialized complex complete with annoying South of the Border-type billboards, is home to Mr. Santa Claus himself – and apparently it’s where all letters labeled “Santa Claus, North Pole” go.

Since it is billed as the top destination in all of Finland and was only five kilometers from our lodge, we figured, what the hey. I’d like to meet the fat man.

It wasn’t like we expected. There were no happy elves, candy canes, and smiling people anywhere. We had to sign a form and swear under oath not to use our camera (Santa is copyrighted). Then we passed through a set of larger-than-life double doors only to find a dimly lit fun house filled with creaky and creepy stairs, dark scary turns, and sudden booms and bangs that would frighten the dickens out of grown men, let alone little kiddies to whom Santa is an icon.

Kate thinks it was the center of the earth (apparently Santa goes all around the world very quickly by controlling the earth’s rotation from the center of the earth). I think the Finns see Santa as a charitable hermit who happens to have some Elvin engineers who designed a way to control the earth’s rotation from an isolated and scary shack in Finland. Either way, we have no pictures; so you’ll have to go and see for yourselves.

Then, we met the fat man himself. It was weird. He asked us where we worked. How we liked living abroad. What Kate was studying. That’s not Santa, I thought. Santa shouldn’t care about those things. It reminded me of our friend Bob who one time dressed up as Santa here in Wiesbaden and had a little girl tell him that she moved here from Denver. “Interesting,” Bob (dressed as Santa, mind you) said. “I have a daughter in Denver.” I’m sure that creeped the kid out for life.

During the rest of our time at the Arctic Circle we bought some reindeer meat, sent Pecos a postcard, and slid down an ice slide.

That night, we bided our time in the city of Rovaniemi, ate at an all-you-can-eat pizza place, and played in a few fun igloos.

Then, finally, we headed back to the train station where we caught an overnight train to Tampere. What a train it was!

And that was it. We caught our flight from Tampere the next day and reminisced abour our amazing adventure – definitely one of the best we’ve been on.