Phil said he saw more Porches in his long weekend in London than during his whole time in Germany. I agree. We also saw a few Maseratis, Ferraris, and Lamborghinis – and a whole bevy of Aston Martin’s, Jaguars, and Bentleys.
This, I think, can be a car-lover’s way of symbolizing our trip to London. We saw a lot of posh things (and places) that were certainly impressive, even to the untrained/untraveled eye. But we were only spectators. This prohibitively pricey city – arguably the most expensive in the world – dissuaded us from entering any non-free museums, purchasing any unnecessary food items (other than British staples like fish-and-chips and English breakfasts), and going to any West End or Globe Theatre performances.
We saw London on the cheap because Phil and I were … well, Supercheap. Supercheap. We’re Supercheapy – myow!
Day 1:
We started with a typical English breakfast (and a spot o’ tea), consisting of bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes, and baked beans (no sausage :( ).
Then we walked to Buckingham Palace, asked if the queen was in (she was), and continued on our way through a delightfully green park, where Phil was taken back by these delightfully cheeky British birds. EL-OH GUBNOR! 
A short tube ride later and we were at the Parliament, the epicenter of British government and home to the most famous clock in the world. Here’s Big Phil posing in front of Big Ben.
Across the street was Westminter Abbey (by far, the best Abbey Phil said he’s ever been to).
Trafalgar Square came next, where, as always, there was some sort of gathering to protest a horrible injustice or some such blather. As daft Americans, Phil and I could not have cared less. So Phil peed in the fountain. (That little bugger!) 
Then we were off to Picadilly Circus (which I, as a U.S. Army employee, kept confusing with Picatinny Arsenal, a small base in New Jersey where my step-sister works.). Picadilly is the Times Square of London. And, much like Times Square in New York, there’s really not a whole lot other than tourists and shiny billboards. 
We were a bit knackered after all that walking around. So we decided to eat some curries at a place Phil’s friend recommended (behind Pic Circus) and go back to the hostel for a bit of shut eye before finally going out on the town where we saw “birds” of a different type.
Day 2:
Since we knew we were going to be here for a few more days, Day 2 was more of a continuation of what we would have done on Day 1 if we didn’t have Day 2.
So, Day 2 started with a short tube ride to Oxford Circus (which is the worst circus I’ve ever seen), where we got off to walk down the fashionable Carnaby Street before heading to Soho, which is apparently just another ritzy, shopping area.
Soho, however, quickly turned into a Red Light district. But at 11 a.m., the only purchase we really wanted to make was for fish-and-chips.
Then came the Covent Garden market, which had a vast selection of stands, shops, and people performing for money. I think Phil’s favorite was the hot opera singer. My favorite was a funny Jewish magician.
St. Paul’s came next, where we had to queue to find out it was 12 pounds ($24) per adult to enter. Personally, as I never enter churches anymore, this was not much of an affront. Phil was a little more outraged at being charged to enter a place of god. But, in keeping with our SUPERCHEAP motto, we took a few snaps and left our wallets unmolested. Here’s Phil being proud of himself. I SEE, FOR FREE!
On our way to the Queen’s Walk (a romantic pedestrianized walk along the Thames), Phil thought he heard a cry for help. So he took the opportunity to change into his superhero outfit in a nearby telephone booth. But he somehow got stuck and became the victim himself.
The Queen’s Walk was next, where we saw Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre. We knew it would be expensive, so we didn’t even check the playlist.
Then we saw the eternally underwhelming London Bridge, which I think should consider changing its name or architectural style to either blow off or wow people like Phil who come with such high expectations. 
Also along the walk, we noticed that the diet of British dogs is considerably different from that of American dogs.
Then, since it was such a perfect, non-London-like day, we took a short nap in the park. Here Phil learned to never nap near an unmature bloke like myself. (I covered him in pretty flowers. He looks much better now).
Then, finally, it was off to St. James Palace (on the corner of Pall Mall and Marlborough, believe it or not), where we’d heard there were Queens Guards. Unfortunately for us, we didn’t see any. Fortunately for the palace, we acted in their stead for a minute, protecting the palace from evil doers everywhere.
That night, we went to Hyde Park, where Eric Clapton was playing for only 55 pounds. We, however, sat in the grass outside and listened for free. SUPERCHEAP!
Day 3:
The last big sight on our Island Adventure was the Tower of London, a royal palace, fortress, prison, treasury, zoo, mint, museum, observatory, and home of the crown jewels. As you might guess, it cost something like 1 trillion pounds 50 to enter. And, since neither Phil nor I were up for such a gouging, we stood outside, took a few photos, and bid it cherrio as we walked next door to the Tower Bridge.
This bridge was much cooler than London Bridge (and is too often mistake for said bridge). As such, it also charges a steep admission. So, once again, Phil and I took a few snappy snaps and decided we fancied a pint. 
So, we minded the gap one more time as we boarded the tube, not really knowing where to go next, since we'd just about seen everything we wanted to. So, while flipping through our book, I saw an Irish pub I’d read about called Filthy MacNasty’s in a dodgy area in the north of the city. I liked the name. Phil liked the sound of a pint. Decision made.
I got a little pissed from that one pint (Guinness), so we had to get some food in me on the double. Thankfully, Chinatown was only a few short stops away, where I refueled on the worst buffets I’ve ever had. (I still went back up three times … I’m easy to please-y).
That night we went out to a nearby neighborhood to watch Germany lose to Spain in an embarrassing soccer game. Oh, the disgrace! Especially since we seemed to be the only fans rooting for Germany in the entire country. (Apparently the Brits still consider Germans evil mustachioed volk).
Day 4:
This morning, we had yet another dense English Breakfast at that same nearby neighborhood, sat down for an alfresco spot of tea, and headed to the airport, confident that we saw it all – and paid for none of it!
This, I think, can be a car-lover’s way of symbolizing our trip to London. We saw a lot of posh things (and places) that were certainly impressive, even to the untrained/untraveled eye. But we were only spectators. This prohibitively pricey city – arguably the most expensive in the world – dissuaded us from entering any non-free museums, purchasing any unnecessary food items (other than British staples like fish-and-chips and English breakfasts), and going to any West End or Globe Theatre performances.
We saw London on the cheap because Phil and I were … well, Supercheap. Supercheap. We’re Supercheapy – myow!
Day 1:
We started with a typical English breakfast (and a spot o’ tea), consisting of bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes, and baked beans (no sausage :( ).
Then we walked to Buckingham Palace, asked if the queen was in (she was), and continued on our way through a delightfully green park, where Phil was taken back by these delightfully cheeky British birds. EL-OH GUBNOR! A short tube ride later and we were at the Parliament, the epicenter of British government and home to the most famous clock in the world. Here’s Big Phil posing in front of Big Ben. Across the street was Westminter Abbey (by far, the best Abbey Phil said he’s ever been to).Trafalgar Square came next, where, as always, there was some sort of gathering to protest a horrible injustice or some such blather. As daft Americans, Phil and I could not have cared less. So Phil peed in the fountain. (That little bugger!) Then we were off to Picadilly Circus (which I, as a U.S. Army employee, kept confusing with Picatinny Arsenal, a small base in New Jersey where my step-sister works.). Picadilly is the Times Square of London. And, much like Times Square in New York, there’s really not a whole lot other than tourists and shiny billboards. We were a bit knackered after all that walking around. So we decided to eat some curries at a place Phil’s friend recommended (behind Pic Circus) and go back to the hostel for a bit of shut eye before finally going out on the town where we saw “birds” of a different type.Day 2:
Since we knew we were going to be here for a few more days, Day 2 was more of a continuation of what we would have done on Day 1 if we didn’t have Day 2.
So, Day 2 started with a short tube ride to Oxford Circus (which is the worst circus I’ve ever seen), where we got off to walk down the fashionable Carnaby Street before heading to Soho, which is apparently just another ritzy, shopping area.
Soho, however, quickly turned into a Red Light district. But at 11 a.m., the only purchase we really wanted to make was for fish-and-chips.
Then came the Covent Garden market, which had a vast selection of stands, shops, and people performing for money. I think Phil’s favorite was the hot opera singer. My favorite was a funny Jewish magician.
St. Paul’s came next, where we had to queue to find out it was 12 pounds ($24) per adult to enter. Personally, as I never enter churches anymore, this was not much of an affront. Phil was a little more outraged at being charged to enter a place of god. But, in keeping with our SUPERCHEAP motto, we took a few snaps and left our wallets unmolested. Here’s Phil being proud of himself. I SEE, FOR FREE!On our way to the Queen’s Walk (a romantic pedestrianized walk along the Thames), Phil thought he heard a cry for help. So he took the opportunity to change into his superhero outfit in a nearby telephone booth. But he somehow got stuck and became the victim himself.The Queen’s Walk was next, where we saw Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre. We knew it would be expensive, so we didn’t even check the playlist.Then we saw the eternally underwhelming London Bridge, which I think should consider changing its name or architectural style to either blow off or wow people like Phil who come with such high expectations. Also along the walk, we noticed that the diet of British dogs is considerably different from that of American dogs.Then, since it was such a perfect, non-London-like day, we took a short nap in the park. Here Phil learned to never nap near an unmature bloke like myself. (I covered him in pretty flowers. He looks much better now).Then, finally, it was off to St. James Palace (on the corner of Pall Mall and Marlborough, believe it or not), where we’d heard there were Queens Guards. Unfortunately for us, we didn’t see any. Fortunately for the palace, we acted in their stead for a minute, protecting the palace from evil doers everywhere.That night, we went to Hyde Park, where Eric Clapton was playing for only 55 pounds. We, however, sat in the grass outside and listened for free. SUPERCHEAP!Day 3:
The last big sight on our Island Adventure was the Tower of London, a royal palace, fortress, prison, treasury, zoo, mint, museum, observatory, and home of the crown jewels. As you might guess, it cost something like 1 trillion pounds 50 to enter. And, since neither Phil nor I were up for such a gouging, we stood outside, took a few photos, and bid it cherrio as we walked next door to the Tower Bridge.
This bridge was much cooler than London Bridge (and is too often mistake for said bridge). As such, it also charges a steep admission. So, once again, Phil and I took a few snappy snaps and decided we fancied a pint. So, we minded the gap one more time as we boarded the tube, not really knowing where to go next, since we'd just about seen everything we wanted to. So, while flipping through our book, I saw an Irish pub I’d read about called Filthy MacNasty’s in a dodgy area in the north of the city. I liked the name. Phil liked the sound of a pint. Decision made.I got a little pissed from that one pint (Guinness), so we had to get some food in me on the double. Thankfully, Chinatown was only a few short stops away, where I refueled on the worst buffets I’ve ever had. (I still went back up three times … I’m easy to please-y).That night we went out to a nearby neighborhood to watch Germany lose to Spain in an embarrassing soccer game. Oh, the disgrace! Especially since we seemed to be the only fans rooting for Germany in the entire country. (Apparently the Brits still consider Germans evil mustachioed volk).
Day 4:
This morning, we had yet another dense English Breakfast at that same nearby neighborhood, sat down for an alfresco spot of tea, and headed to the airport, confident that we saw it all – and paid for none of it!
2 comments:
You are a blogging machine!
What no comment from pink shirted Phil?
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