Six months in Europe

So we’ve been here for six months now and I wanted to share my thoughts about living here. I've divided my thoughts into a couple non-exclusive sections, below. Please ask for clarification if you'd like. Kate and I would be more than happy to make up some answers.

Culture shocks: There are two.
First, as I’m sure all you smart, attractive, and seasoned Germany travelers know, the Germans are a very organized volk. Just hearing the words “Kaiser Wilhelm” makes my back stiffen a bit and makes me antsy to clean my desk and gel down that errant cowlick.

But here’s a little-known fact about the Western European Wurstmeisters: They can't queue. Their version of an organized single-file line looks like herd of Soldiers desperately grasping for a spot on the last helicopter leaving Saigon. A jumble. A cluster. And it doesn’t make boarding a plane or waiting for tickets very fun.

Second, and more interesting, is the German's inability to say excuse me. As you know, Western Europe is a bit more densely populated than, say, South Dakota. So space is at a premium – grocery store aisles aren’t as wide, restaurant tables are closer together, etc. In fact, I’m not surprised anymore when older men ask Kate to sit on their laps ... to conserve space, of course.

Anyway, knowing that personal space is limited, both Kate and I felt compelled to use the words “excuse me” when we first got here. I mean, one doesn't want to draw attention to oneself in a foreign country by acting impolite, right.

Well, oddly enough, the German word for excuse me, “entschuldigung,” is foreign language to even the Germans. What does that mean? The Germans seem to have chosen to avoid the word completely, choosing instead to accept day-to-day physical contact as a part of life. For instance, when traversing a crowded grocery store aisle, they plow ahead like Arctic ice-breaking ships, not uttering a word. Or, when entering a subway train, it’s not uncommon to have your feet trampled on or rolled over. If you look up at them as they’re doing it, they’ll look surprised – as if you should be somewhere else.

Some other surprising (but culturally unshocking) things are:

Booze: It’s cheap. A decent bottle of wine is around $2 per bottle.

Cheese: It’s everywhere, delicious, and super cheap. $0.99 for a piece of brie the size of my hand.

Yogurt: Again, super cheap and much better than anything Dannon could make.

Talk: Is cheap. (Sorry, Pecos made me say it).

Weather: Much more mild than expected. Actually, like the German outlook on life, the weather is usually partly cloudy. But the summer was warm and sunny, September had perfect weather almost every day and October, although rainy, has yet to force me to wear a jacket. Unfortunately, the thick clouds of despair appeared to have oozed in and will, within a month, probably nail themselves down until spring - like a big puffy pillow over Germany.

Food: Hearty is not a bad term to use here. Neither is heart disease. But that's just German food. We’ve also been pleasantly surprised by the non-German cuisines offered here: Vietnamese, Indian/Pakistani, Chinese. We also have our pick of tapas, pastas, and pizza. No burritos, though. No bagel shops either.

Little things: The military’s commissary – home to the uparmored $160 tactical seedless grape (with a 73% failure rate and designed to withstand a SCUD missile) – is very convenient. We shamelessly buy most of our groceries there. The American theater is small, but offers first-run American movies for cheap ($3.50 per ticket). In fact, we went to see a movie (the Lakehouse) tonight. Public transportation is everywhere. The streets are clean. But the sewers stink.

Dogs: More than any other nation on the planet, Germany loves dogs. More than France even, with their little Frenchie dogs who sip Café O’lé while nibbling on pains au chocolat between puffs of their cigarette. Sure, the Germans have their share of small dogs (Dachshunds, Schnauzers, Affenpinschers) but big German dogs are popular too (Shepherds, Dobermans, Rottweilers). Sometimes they get their own seats at restaurants (not kidding) and they can always find a bowl of water wherever there are shops.

The Euro: I have nothing against the euro. Other than looking like it was designed by preschoolers, it's a good currency. But, being an average American, I know nothing about how exchange rates work. So let me tell you: The price for things looks the same in writing - a menu at an average Italian restaurant, for instance, displays prices like 10,99 for pasta, 13,99 for some sort of chicken parmesan, etc. This leads simple Americans like myself to believe the prices are just like dollars….but I'm wrong. The price in dollars is 25% extra.

Why, you ask? Here’s why: European governments have brainwashed Klaus, Pierre, Guido and the rest of those Europeans into thinking money is for saving. "Save it in seat cushions!" the governments demands. "Under the bed," "In treasure chests!" etc. This saving, however, causes scarcity. And according to my ECON101 professor, when things are scarce, they rise in value. This is due to something called the law of the absolute advantage which states that the aggregate of marginal return causes a variable rate in the futures of foreign direct investment which.... I don't know. I got a C-. Either way, adding 25% to things stresses me out. And it does nothing for my rash I'm starting to develop under my left armpit. I think I might have to spend my insulin money just to buy Pecos dogfood.

Travel: Obviously this is da bomb (although on second thought, I probably shouldn’t use the word bomb when discussing travel). Flights are cheap, gas is OK (we pay U.S. prices), places are close, and hostels are everywhere. And since it's so cheap to fly, we sometimes pay more to stay in a city than to fly there. It’s kind of addictive, in fact – although I can usually control it with the help of my rash medication.

Anyway, if any of you happen to be coming to Europe and Kate and I can stay for free in your hotel room or friend's place, you bet your booties we’ll be there. (Question for the group: why would anyone actually bet their booties?)

Yes, we travel a lot and we love it. It’s so exciting and adventurous that sometimes I think it can’t all really be happening. Like I’m in a major motion picture starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger…. No, scratch that. But our adventures probably could be made into a romantic comedy of sorts – starring Chad Michael Murray (me) and Mandy Moore (Kate) in which they travel across all nine continents searching for adventure only to find that what they really wanted wasn’t fine dining on Volkswagonkindergardenweinerschnitzel Strasse, but was being at home, spending time with family.

Well, don’t get too sentimental just yet. We’ve still never dined on Volkswagonkindergardenweinerschnitzel Strasse. But we'll let you know.

Work: My job is great. I seriously couldn’t have a better boss or a better organization to work for. There are travel opportunities, professional development opportunities, and, best of all, there is flexibility over what I do. In my last job, I had no choice over what I did. My boss pushed me around and loomed over me like the Sith, ensuring I did his evil deeds. Here, I have a voice. (Now I just need to develop a spinal cord…)

All in all, living in Europe is awesome. But it's even better when people come to visit!