Gutentag and welcome to another episode of “Crazy European Road Trip.” In this intense episode, Justin once again plans a weekend journey that no sane being would dare endeavor, yet somehow manages to convince two retirees, a pregnant woman, and a dog to spend four days in a Ford Ka – all because of one word: Dolomites. (Except for Pecos, who required the word “Outside?!”).
The Dolomites are magically delicious Italian Alps that seem to coolly say, “Ciao. I friggin’ rule, capiche? Come walk all over my majestic paths. They’re friggin bee-utiful.” And anyone who’s seen pictures will agree. 
But, because these mountains are about seven hours away by car, we had to get there first. Here’s the trip:
Berchtesgaden: Our first stop was a town incredibly hard to say for those who don’t speak German. Here, in the southeast corner of Germany, we had lunch, took a boat ride on the glacial Königssee, and walked around a puny peninsula that humans love for the views and dogs love for the sticks.
Salzburg: We ate dinner and spent the night in this captivating city, seeing such sights as Mozart’s birthplace, the imposing castle, and tourists taking pictures of locations where the “Sound of Music” was shot.
Saltmine: OK, this shot is silly. There are many salt mines in the area (hence: Salzburg – Salt castle/village) and most of them had slides like this for miners to quickly get down to the lowest levels. As you can see, we aren’t your typical saltminers. Bill and Kate can probably pass for “enjoying” the ride, but Barbara and I look like we either hated it or just simply lost facial control. Either way, I wouldn’t have been surprised if we would have been told to never come back.
St. Peter: Finally, Italia. But … they all speak German. Weird. I found a pension on a Slovakian website that seemed to imply that this place was in the Dolomites. And, damnit, if it weren’t for that cloud there, we would have been.
Dolomites: Finally, the Dolomites. I’d chosen a random “rifugio” way up in the mountains to stop at so Barbara and Bill could have a coffee and hang out and Kate, Pecos, and I could hike happily into the distance like an Alpine ending to a Western movie. But, because it wasn’t yet June 1, the cable car going up hadn’t opened yet – meaning that B&B would have to settle for coffee a few thousand feet lower in elevation. For the rest of us, it was 1.5 hours of Dolomite magic … uh … which turned out to be cloudy skies and snowy trails that weren’t well marked and which left us with sopping wet shoes and socks (except for Pecos, whose shoes and socks dried quickly). We then drove around some more and realized that the roads were better marked and offered better views than the trails. Lesson learned, Italy. Lesson learned. 
Ulm: God, the drive here was absolutely gorgeous. Northern Italy and the panhandle of Austria are certainly on par with central Switzerland for having some of the most picturesque mountainview towns I’ve ever seen. Ulm, however, was not one of them. We stopped here because our previously planned route (to Zürich) had almost no highways and could have taken anywhere from five to twelve hours, given traffic, hills, Lichtenstein, etc. So, since Ulm was on the way home, Ulm it was. And it was nice. Nothing overtly spectacular there – but certainly a memorable little spot with – allegedly – the tallest chapel in the world.
Rothenburg: The final stop on our enormous excursion was a tantalizing tourist town in south central Germany we’ve been to many times before. Although this Frankish town is definitely one of the most appealing in Europe, it somehow loses its Je Ne Sais Quoi (in German, that’s “ich weiss nicht was,” pronounced ISH VICE NISHT VOS, which is not quite as sexy). But we ambled the alleys and ogled the architecture until we couldn’t take the cuteness anymore. Then, after 1,076 miles of highways, tolls, and squished knees, we were home – fatigued but contented in having seen a few more magical parts of this continent we’re temporarily calling home.
Berchtesgaden: Our first stop was a town incredibly hard to say for those who don’t speak German. Here, in the southeast corner of Germany, we had lunch, took a boat ride on the glacial Königssee, and walked around a puny peninsula that humans love for the views and dogs love for the sticks.
Salzburg: We ate dinner and spent the night in this captivating city, seeing such sights as Mozart’s birthplace, the imposing castle, and tourists taking pictures of locations where the “Sound of Music” was shot.Saltmine: OK, this shot is silly. There are many salt mines in the area (hence: Salzburg – Salt castle/village) and most of them had slides like this for miners to quickly get down to the lowest levels. As you can see, we aren’t your typical saltminers. Bill and Kate can probably pass for “enjoying” the ride, but Barbara and I look like we either hated it or just simply lost facial control. Either way, I wouldn’t have been surprised if we would have been told to never come back.St. Peter: Finally, Italia. But … they all speak German. Weird. I found a pension on a Slovakian website that seemed to imply that this place was in the Dolomites. And, damnit, if it weren’t for that cloud there, we would have been.Dolomites: Finally, the Dolomites. I’d chosen a random “rifugio” way up in the mountains to stop at so Barbara and Bill could have a coffee and hang out and Kate, Pecos, and I could hike happily into the distance like an Alpine ending to a Western movie. But, because it wasn’t yet June 1, the cable car going up hadn’t opened yet – meaning that B&B would have to settle for coffee a few thousand feet lower in elevation. For the rest of us, it was 1.5 hours of Dolomite magic … uh … which turned out to be cloudy skies and snowy trails that weren’t well marked and which left us with sopping wet shoes and socks (except for Pecos, whose shoes and socks dried quickly). We then drove around some more and realized that the roads were better marked and offered better views than the trails. Lesson learned, Italy. Lesson learned. Ulm: God, the drive here was absolutely gorgeous. Northern Italy and the panhandle of Austria are certainly on par with central Switzerland for having some of the most picturesque mountainview towns I’ve ever seen. Ulm, however, was not one of them. We stopped here because our previously planned route (to Zürich) had almost no highways and could have taken anywhere from five to twelve hours, given traffic, hills, Lichtenstein, etc. So, since Ulm was on the way home, Ulm it was. And it was nice. Nothing overtly spectacular there – but certainly a memorable little spot with – allegedly – the tallest chapel in the world.Rothenburg: The final stop on our enormous excursion was a tantalizing tourist town in south central Germany we’ve been to many times before. Although this Frankish town is definitely one of the most appealing in Europe, it somehow loses its Je Ne Sais Quoi (in German, that’s “ich weiss nicht was,” pronounced ISH VICE NISHT VOS, which is not quite as sexy). But we ambled the alleys and ogled the architecture until we couldn’t take the cuteness anymore. Then, after 1,076 miles of highways, tolls, and squished knees, we were home – fatigued but contented in having seen a few more magical parts of this continent we’re temporarily calling home.P.S. No pregnant women were harmed in the making of this journey.
I was wrong.
Our vivacious group ended up seeing six of the seven sights – and spending a fair amount of time seeing them, too. Well, OK. It was mostly Barbara and Bill taking pictures and Kate looking at maps.
Anyway, here they are (mostly of Pecos, of course), along with some brief thoughts:
Bruges/Brugge: It’s hard to avoid the charm. Actually, I saw a few punk kids who were trying to look all hard. But I gotta say, it’s tough to look hard when you’re standing in front of gilded, pastel buildings, or baroque churches with well manicured churchyards surrounded by quaint, clean canals. Plus, you’d have to speak Dutch…totally un-ghetto. Anyway, here's Pecos blowing a bubble. 
NETHERLANDS
Keukenhof: The rain didn’t dampen our enjoyment of this perennially gorgeous flower garden. In fact, we actually stayed over three hours gazing at the blooms – and it wasn’t even tulip season. But, it was the last day this park was open (and the first time there for B&B), so we enjoyed it while we could. Here's Pecos, blowing some sort of bubble again.
And here are a few more of Keukenhof, including a video of Pecos being very brave!
